Archive for January, 2009

Status Quo

Saturday, January 31st, 2009 by Steph

Stephanie is waiting for the other shoe to drop. She is pondering the illusion of free will. She’s ambivalent about being good today and is loving her lack of obligation. Stephanie is trying to curb her self-destructive impulses. She hurts in too many exciting places. She seems to prefer it this way… when life is complicated, uncertain, and intense. Stephanie has always preferred savory to sweet. Her bloodstream is chock full of ukon no chikara. She’s feelin’ pretty damn good. Or maybe that’s the beer talking.

Stephanie is having second thoughts…

She’s totally not taking a test today. Stephanie is dealing with reality by pickling her brain in television. She deserves a break from her rich emotional life, thank you very much. Stephanie will be impersonating a cat for the remainder of the afternoon, until she rediscovers her genki.

Stephanie is wondering if you are one of the balls she has dropped… Unfortunately, she can only obsess about one thing at a time. She cannot simultaneously study Japanese AND keep up with world events AND plan her future. Something’s got to give. At least she didn’t break anything while snowboarding. She swam a mile. She made one too many bear jokes. She chased waterfalls. She reluctantly harvested the persimmons off of her staircase.

Stephanie is more rest after death. Slowly, slowly, it will come to you.

Stephanie stopped and smelled the roses on the way to work today. And by “smelled” she means “pet” and by “roses” she means “cats”. Stephanie doesn’t care how much her vice-principal’s new car costs, but he likes to tell her anyway. He also likes to tell the other English teachers, “You are fat. Like a pig!” She’s not sure what to say when her teachers tell her that they’re hung over right before class. And she still doesn’t know what the plan is for second period.

Stephanie taught her students to squawk like a chicken when calling someone a coward. She will also totally scare the crap out of you in class to get rid of your hiccups.

Stephanie only made three 6-year-olds cry today.

Stephanie does push ups at school when she thinks no one is watching. Stephanie was just asked out on a date by a gaggle of 15-year old girls. She is amused to be ferrying love letters from school to school for her starry-eyed students. Stephanie is thinking she should have been a journalist. Or an anthropologist. Or maybe a ninja.

Stephanie can’t get any work done because her emotions are holding her hostage. Instead, she is anesthetizing herself with the Olympics and alcohol. She is having a hard time with closure. She’d rather leave than be left. She is practicing detachment. She’s learning when to be silent.

Stephanie rather enjoyed her last Onagori under the glow of the full moon. She had the beach to herself last night. There are plenty of cuts and bruises which prove she had a great time just trying to float there for awhile. Stephanie carped that diem.

Stephanie’s enthusiasm for kanji is waning.
She was hoping against hope for a beer in the fridge.
Stephanie misses PV=nRT.
She needs something to change.

Stephanie is high tension, scheming, and full of anticip………..ation. Stephanie is fierce. She thought she wasn’t pissed anymore, but no. Stephanie turned down alcohol in favor of explosives. She’s about to blow this popsicle stand.

Stephanie is walking the path. She has dotted her おs and crossed her ちs. Stephanie is going to try her best not to take anything or anyone for granted for the next 10 days. Or the next 6 months. Or the next 50 years.